5 Ways NLP Can Help You Build Great Relationships

Great relationships are fundamental to every successful collaboration.  It’s all about working together to reach a common goal.  Whether you’re a sales person, a project manager or anyone that deals with clients (isn’t that actually all of us in some way?), then building relationships is critical to help you communicate and influence, persuade, negotiate, inspire or even motivate.

But the importance of collaboration, and learning to collaborate effectively, isn’t restricted to business life.  A successful marriage requires you to collaborate.  Living together with your teenage kids needs collaboration.  Learning to work together is essential in any family. 

So how can NLP help you to quickly build strong, long-lasting relationships that are the foundation for great collaboration?

#1 KNOW YOUR OUTCOME: start with the end in mind.  What is it that you ultimately want to get out of this relationship?  What is your goal?  What is your desired outcome?  Now work back step by step until you get to where you are now.  A ship without a rudder is certainly never going to find the right course.

#2 TAKE ACTION:  you want to build a great relationship then step 1 is get off your butt and get on with it.  If you don’t start, how can you succeed?  Nobody got anywhere without taking action.  If you send an email and don’t get the response you want then remember – the meaning of communication is the response you get.  So try again… and again… and again…, if needs be.  Take responsibility.

#3 INCREASE YOUR SENSITIVITY:  open up your mind to the world and the people around you.  Be sensitive to changes in peoples facial expression or body language when you’re talking to them.  Calibrate on behaviour rather than words.  Let your curiosity have a free rein and make an effort to understand other peoples model of the world, so you can work within it…  Put yourself in the other person shoes, or try being an unbiased fly on the wall, to re-evaluate a situation.

#4 BE FLEXIBLE:  if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.  With enough rapport and enough flexibility in your thinking and behaviour you can ALWAYS achieve your outcome.  There is no failure, only feedback.  Have the humility to accept it, learn from it and change your course to your desired outcome.

#5 START FROM EXCELLENCE:  invest in the philosophy that everyone is doing the best that they can with the resources they have available.  Every behaviour has a positive intention behind it.  Believe in the best from yourself and from others.  Nurture curiosity instead of judgement.

Remember “Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” Helen Keller

So what is your best advice to someone building business relationships?

© Jacqui Gatehouse and GATEHOUSE THIRTEEN, 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jacqui Gatehouse and GATEHOUSE THIRTEEN with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


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