If you want to communicate effectively with yourself and with those around you, then a great way to channel your curiosity is to work out what makes people tick, and particularly what motivates them. I’ve written about Meta Programs more than a few times now – just as a reminder these are deeply rooted mental programs that automatically filter our experience and direct our thoughts and behaviour. To find out someone’s Meta Programs you can ask someone a range of simple questions – you could call them the conversational personality profiling tool.
Words are a powerful motivational tool – to motivate your colleagues, your employees, your boss, clients, your husband, your kids, or anyone else you wish – if used in the right way and in the right combination. But how do you find the specific words and put them in the right sequence to have the desired effect? How many times have you felt as if you’re speaking another language that the other person doesn’t understand? Your words just seem to slide right off and the other person doesn’t do whatever it is you’re trying to motivate them to do.
What if you could find out the specific words to motivate someone that they use to motivate themselves? In this case, using the last thing someone says to themselves before they get out of bed, gives you the meta program called the “modal operator sequence”. Modal operators are words of possibility and necessity, which act as undeniable motivators to a person. Words of possibility are … able to, am, can, choose to, decide, do, intend, it’s possible, permit, will. Words of necessity are … must, should, got to, have to, necessary, need to, ought to, supposed to, it’s time.
Not only are those words useful to motivate someone, but it also gives you an idea of what drives someone. Possibilities people are more likely to do what they want, look for new opportunities and potential and believe they are in control of their lives. Necessity people feel that life is a routine, they need to fulfil their responsibilities and they can be stuck as their actions are determined by obligations. More on that another day.
If it isn’t appropriate to ask someone about getting out of bed in the morning then you can go via other routes. Everyone has favourite little phrases they use frequently – try listening out for them. Repeating those words back to someone creates an undeniable connection between you. When you need someone to motivate someone to do something consider what words they would use to ask you to do something – because they’re probably the same words that would work for them. Go fishing and see what you can catch … Remember “If you can’t you must, and if you must you can!” Anthony Robbins
(Picture credit – NLP THIRTEEN, mine all mine.)
© Jacqui Gatehouse and NLP THIRTEEN, 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jacqui Gatehouse and NLP THIRTEEN with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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