Get Out of the Way – You’re Holding Yourself Back!

I know a very interesting lady here in Denmark who coaches individuals and teams using horses as her co-trainers.  I was lucky enough to visit her a little while ago and meet her ‘team’.  She told me a wonderful story that I thought was well worth sharing. 

In her work she coaches managers to lead successful, result-orientated teams.  On one particular course she asked a student lead a horse from one end to the other of a simple obstacle course – so leading the horse (you’re standing beside the horse not sitting on it) to achieve a goal with only tone of voice and body language.  But this particular student just couldn’t work out why her horse refused to budge and he stood there staring at her, whatever she did.  Then the trainer asked her to re-consider where and how she was standing.  She was standing square in front of the horse blocking his way, focused on him instead of the goal, and he simply couldn’t move forward.  As soon as she stepped to the side and walked towards her goal of the end of the obstacle course, then the horse dutifully followed her lead.

So just like the horse, who is it that stands blocking your way when it comes to achieving your goals and your dreams?  Assuming you are ready and willing to take responsibility for your life, then that can only be YOU.

Many of us, at one time or another, have been amazingly good at holding ourselves back – so what would happen if you took off the brakes, right now?  When will you choose to stamp your foot and say ‘I’ve had enough!?  Usually we limites ourselves as a result of bad decisions that create bad beliefs about ourselves, fear of a multitude of things and bad memories that we love to waste time replaying time, after time, after time, after time in our heads instead of accepting what we can learn and moving on.  So I’m setting you a challenge.  Consider these three areas and deal with them to achieve the success you desire.  Remember – if you wish it to be, change can and will be instantaneous.

1.  Bad decisions and bad beliefs – when we’re born we believe the world is full of limitless possibilities.  As you grow you start to install your own limiting decisions and beliefs that then limit your possibilities for success.  Friends, family, parents, teachers and mentors are often unwitting conspirators.  What decisions have you made that have created limiting beliefs about yourself and your capabilities?  I’m not clever….so I can never run my own business or be promoted to Director.  I’m not good at football….. so I’m useless at any sport and would rather just sit in a chair and eat chocolate.  I can’t do maths….so I can never manage my bank account and just keep getting in to debt.  Think about the beliefs you have in yourself.  Just because you once believed them does that mean they’re true?

2.  Fear – we do an amazing job of being scared of so many different things.  Some of the most common are fears are of public speaking, lifts, heights, failure, flying, relationships, commitment, gaining weight, losing weight…..  There are people who do a great job of being extremely scared of something that isn’t even there.  Now who gets all hot and sweaty at just the thought of a spider?  Hmmmm, no spider in the vicinity so that must be fear of something that’s entirely created in your mind.  I guess that would be a phobia.  But fear is not about what caused it, it’s about how you have programmed yourself so effectively to keep repeating that thinking and bad behavior.  Does that seem silly?  Had enough yet?

3.  Bad memories – we all have good times and not so good times.  But some people can do an excellent job of reliving the bad things over and over and over and over again in their head.  Does that sound beneficial, constructive, or inspiring?  Or does it sound draining, demotivating and stressful being swamped by all those negative emotions?  Consider how much time each day you spend thinking about those bad old memories, calculate how much time that is per week, per month and finally per year.  Isn’t that a monumental waste of time?  The more time you spend feeling bad about the past, the less time and energy you have to make your life wonderful and amazing. 

A recent post on BestKnickersAlways suggested 10 Commandments for Simplifying Your Life.  Take a look – it’s a great list.  So today I thought I’d finish with a few additional commandments of my own:

  • Thou shalt count every success, however small, as a step in the right direction.
  • Thou shalt believe in one’s self, as who else will if you don’t?
  • Thou shalt see fear as a useless figment of an overactive imagination.
  • Thou shalt not put things off, as that takes more time and energy than getting them done in the first place.
  • Thou shalt put your bad memories in the past and leave them there.
  • Thou shalt learn to get out of ones own way, as YOU are the only one that stands between you and achieving your dreams!

(Picture credit – the wonderful

© Jacqui Gatehouse and NLP THIRTEEN, 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jacqui Gatehouse and NLP THIRTEEN with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


6 responses to “Get Out of the Way – You’re Holding Yourself Back!

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