Nej, non, nein, na, naw, nei, mai….they all mean the same thing, in whatever langauge you wish….. no. It’s funny how such a simple little word can demand so much time and effort in avoidance strategies. Perhaps you avoid using the word yourself as you can can’t bear to say “no” to other people (or to yourself) or perhaps you do everything in your power to avoid hearing that word from other people in response to your questions.
I had such a bad day that I just can’t say “no” to myself when it comes to that extra little bit of chocolate. “No” I don’t want to buy your product. I couldn’t possibly say “no” to my boss about taking on that extra work as he’d never forgive me. “No” I don’t want to go on a date with you……
Just think about this for a moment. You’re a sales person working hard to sell your product to a potential client. Do you have any idea just how many sales people spend hours, days or even months working on a potential client, but never actually get to the crux of the matter and ask for the business? Do you want to buy it or not? And why do you think that is? Could it be they are scared of hearing a “no”? Think of all those “maybe” people who have kept you hanging on for ever and ever and ever, in the hope that one day you might nudge them over to a “yes”. Imagine if they’d said “no” in the first place….
So what does a “no” actually do for you? Well if a potential client is going to say “no” then the sooner you can get that out of them, the sooner you can move on and spend time on the next client who will buy. Wouldn’t that be useful? Wouldn’t that make better use of your time and maximise your chances of success?
We are conditioned to see a “no” as failure. But conversely “no” is incredibly valuable feedback – it’s to be treasured. Dig for a “no”, push for a “no”, even hope for a “no”… Just as the NLP presupposition says – there is no failure, only feedback. A “no” gives you the clear opportunity to change your behaviour and attempt another path to success.
As Paulo Coelho says in The Alchemist “There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”…..or perhaps that should be the fear of getting a “no”.
© Jacqui Gatehouse and NLP THIRTEEN, 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jacqui Gatehouse and NLP THIRTEEN with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.